Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Effing X-Mas!

Hey, hey, heeeey! Happy Ho Ho Day!

Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Emily's Tips For a Safe and Sane Holiday:

-Don't drink the Egg Nog. Don't eat the Fruit Cake.
-Beer before liquor, never been sicker.
-When you start talking in cursive, hand over your keys and avoid all topics of conversation political in nature.
-Change into some yoga pants before dinner to allow for expansion.
-If your in-laws make you nervous, smoke a bowl. Popping a Lorazepam/Xanax will do you no good. It will interact with the booze you've been drinking and you'll end up making a fool out of yourself anyway. At least when you get high, all you'll get is cotton mouth and the munchies.
-For that nasty hangover, nothing works better than a shot of vodka and a glass of chocolate milk.

Remember, no drinking and driving, smile and thank Aunt Bea for that ugly sweater she got you, and don't forget to say thank you to the poor schlub who has to work at 7-11 on X-Mas. He probably doesn't celebrate X-Mas anyway, but when everyone else gets a day off, it sort of sucks to have to work.

Peace, Love and Hair Grease people!


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