A Little Rain Never Hurt Anyone

A friend of mine who recently moved back to Minnesota from Los Angeles once said that it never really rains in Southern California, the sky just gets a little wet and people start freaking out.

Truer words were never spoken.

This morning, however, it actually is raining. I mean buckets. It woke me up more times last night than the baby did! I can't say that I am all too upset about it though, because sometimes even all this sunshine is a bit depressing.

That being said, it is a quarter after 5 in the a.m. and a quite b-e-a-utiful morning. Not really cold, but not warm. Just perfect for drinking coffee on the covered patio, listening to the deep restful breaths of my son as he sleeps in his buggy.

We've actually had a lot of rain in Los Angeles so far this year. No real forest/brush fires to speak of this year either, so the dip shits who build their houses in the mountains/burn areas should have nothing to complain about. Dumbasses. They build their homes in areas that are known for catching on fire, bitch about losing their homes. and then bitch about all the rain sweeping down the barren hillside, washing their "dreams" away. Boo hoo. Too bad, so sad. As you can see, I have no sympathy for the idiots.

It is days like these that really make me miss all the fun weather that Minnesota has. Wind, rain, thunder storms, tornadoes. I'd actually prefer a good tornado over an earthquake any day (Not that I have ever experienced a good earthquake before. Still waiting for the "big one" to come.).

I guess you could say that I really just miss Minnesota all together. The people, the "traffic", my friends and family. Either that, or I am just getting sick of all of the jackasses who, when there happens to be a little weather going on, crash their BMWs and Mercedes into each other and make a ten mile commute that would normally take an hour (gah!) turn the 405 into a parking lot.

Now the rain is letting up. My son still sleeps, as does everyone else in my home. I'm happy to report that Margaret and Mike made it here safely and didn't end up pancaked between luxury cars on the interstate.

Now back to the coffee I love so much and listening to the last remnants of rain trickle down.

Oops, you're not supposed to do that to your children?

Me on parenting: WTF was that?!

I feel like I am constantly being blindsided by how insane Madison gets, but reassured by how happy Robert is.

Now I am not one really get all happy, squishy about babies. I like them when they can yell "I HATE YOU, MOM!" At least then you know you're doing something right...right? Anyway, before I digress, I just thought I should share my beautiful morning. Up at 5:30 with a happy baby boy. Make some coffee, whilst listening to him sing his little happy baby songs. Go out to the patio and enjoy the quiet dark of the morning with my son. Being out here with him also makes me also think about how happy I get every time I see a garbage truck (especially ones with yellow butts.), because of how excited Madison gets when she sees a garbage truck (especially ones with yellow butts!). This actually helps to dull the little ache in my heart every time she tells me that she hates me.

Happy Boy!

Jesus vs. Santa

So who are you betting on? Who is going to come and totally rock your world. For the sake of my salvation, I hope Santa wins. Otherwise, there had better be free drinks in Hell.

Kale Chips

This morning was fun. At about 9:00 I had to rescue Madison from the wrath of her father...although I can COMPLETELY sympathize with him. She was running around screaming and yelling at everything and everyone.

Well, I told her to get some clothes on (clothing is optional for 3 year olds, dontchaknow?!) and we drove on down to the Hollywood Farmer's Market. I absolutely LOVE this market! Good selection of food (they have everything from the normal fruits and veggies to seafood, meat, eggs and cheese.), live music, and awesome people watching (like the toothless bass player doing a duet with the 90234323 year old jazz clarinet player...or the lavender guy. he is a character!).

We bought a baguette, yellow cherry tomatoes, sage goat cheese, a mini pumpkin for Robert, a BIG pumpkin for Maddy, a vegan "chocolate" chip cookie, and a bunch of kale for $15!

Now I have been looking for kale in our local Ralph's supermarket, but to no avail. When I saw the kale ($1.50 a bunch) I was so excited. I snapped it up and when we got home I began making kale chips!

They taste sort of nutty, and have the texture of carbon paper, but are super yummy. In fact, I just plowed through the entire batch that I just made in a matter of minutes.

Your ingredients:

Olive oil

bunch of kale

salt

pepper

1. Preheat oven to 400°F.

2. LIGHTLY brush each leaf with olive oil and sprinkle LIGHTLY with salt and pepper.

3. Pop those babies into the oven. Bake for 20 minutes, flipping half way through.

4. DEVOUR!

Margaret & MIIIIIIKE!

So it's been a little while since I wrote last. If there was something worth writing about, maybe I'd have done it sooner. But alas, there wasn't anything to write about. :(

My younger sister and her boyfriend Mike are finishing their last day at Signal Mountain Lodge in the Grand Tetons tomorrow. Then by Tuesday they'll be making their way down through Seattle and Portland to Los Anegles. I couldn't be more excited for their visit! They have come to visit us every Halloween for the past three years. Only problem is, is that they are no longer going to be working at Signal come next year, so this is probably their last HAlloween visit. Trying to think of ways to make it a good one!

Margaret and Mike both love the outdoors, so I was thinking of maybe a hike in Malibu Creek State Park, or a bike ride from Malibu to Redondo (but then, we'd have to get back, and I don't know if my legs could handle it!). Maybe just hang with the kids ands carve pumpkins... Whatever we decide to do I will do my damn best to make it a good time!

Can't wait for them! xoxo

First day back at preschool

Today marks the first day back at preschool for Madison since she went on summer vacation back in June. She started back at a different school than the one we took her out of, so naturally Mark and I were a bit apprehensive about how this morning would go. However, excitement was in the air this morning as we got dressed, brushed out teeth and hair and ate a soft boiled egg for breakfast. We packed up her little sleeping bag for nap time and her plastic shoe box full of extra clothes, as well as a painting she had done for her teacher.

I should mention that her teacher at the new school is the same teacher as the old school. This was a deciding factor in choosing where to send her.

We got into the car and started driving. She was still excited. Praise Jesus!

When we got to the end of White Oak Avenue she bust out in joy, screaming "There is my school!"

We arrived, unloaded the car and walked into her classroom. All the other 3 year olds stared at her like they were starving wolves and she were fresh meat! Ha! I've never been the new kid in school, so I have no idea what it feels like, but this was making me excited just thinking about all the new friends she was going to make!

Before I left, I gave her a big hug and kiss and told her to go introduce herself and ask the other children if they wanted to play. She said okay.

My little girl is growing up. Although I didn't cry, I did feel my heart get a little heavy as I drove home...

But as soon as I got there, it was almost as if I had crossed the finish line of a marathon! I was so happy to be able to do chores quickly and be able to play with Robert all day!

Haha, I hope she is having a good time, cause I sure am!

First day of school!

Indulgences!

Of the many indulgences that I enjoy, by far my favorite is butter. Real butter adds such a nice touch to so many things it is hard to know where to begin.

Tonight I made Trout Amandine for dinner...and it was d-e-licious! What could be better than Rainbow Trout coated in almond flour, fried in butter then coated with a heavenly mixture of brown butter and toasted almonds? What could be better you ask? Crab legs soaked in clarified butter? You betcha! I could literally feel my arteries hardening, but I couldn't care. It was nothing short of amazing.

I was going to take step-by-step photographs of this amazing meal, but I was sort of hurried through it by my husband who was in charge of the crab legs. Maybe next time...

There wasn't even a starch or vegetable to accompany this meal. Man, my bowels are going to be awesome tomorrow!

Well, still trying to decide what to write about to keep it interesting. But believe me, I'm just warming up. Pretty soon y'all will be so inundated with many LEGENDARY stories you won't know what to do.

Urban Dictionary

Mommy Juice according to Urban Dictionary. Hmm...is this blog making me sound like a lush? Cause if it were up to me, I wouldn't be. I have other "indulgences" to...um...well, indulge in.

Like guns. I've shot a gun once in my life. My husband took me to a gun range for one of our first dates. It was so hot, I swear I wanted to rip his clothes off of him and do it on a pile of empty shells. But that is another story.

Anyway...I really want to shoot my neighbor's bird. It is a huge fucking parrot that makes a hell of a lot of noise. There is also a rooster in the neighborhood that I'd like to take out. And a Mockingbird (I could care less what Harper Lee would say!).

So that's that. It starts out at about 3am with the mockingbird. It imitates car alarms. Then at 5am it is the rooster's turn. Then the rest of the day is filled with that damn screeching parrot.

I wish I had a better shot.

This should really be my theme song

This should really be my theme song. Bottles, cans, mugs. Doesn't matter how it comes!

p.s. still figuring this shit out, so if there are mistakes or just plain doesn't make sense...lemme know. I hate looking like a jackass.

Mommy Juice

It's too bad that Fat Tire isn't sold in those GINORMOUS bottles in the grocery store. I could use one right about now. This measly 12 oz bottle just isn't cutting it.

Today is one of those days with 10938439 things on the Shit To Do list, a three year old who is bat shit crazy and a two month old who is still cranky from yesterday's immunizations. And I have zero energy. Right now the TV is an awesome babysitter. 

New to this blogging thing. Don't really know what to say. About 5 minutes ago my mind was reeling with all the funny, witty shit I could write and make a person think "Amen, sister!" but now it's just crickets.

Maybe I should start at the beginning. I am a wife to an amazing husband, without whom I'd be living in my parent's basement, smoking way too much weed and daydreaming about getting a job. He makes me a better person! We have two children: Madison, a spirited 3 (almost 4) year old, and Robert a 2 month old replica of his father. We live in Los Angeles and dream of living in Minnesota (Why? Because Minnesota is the shit, that's why!). 

So I guess that this really isn't that interesting right now. I promise it will get better. Just bear with me.