Thursday, February 14, 2013

Hope you enjoy that VD

Following suit from previous posts (XXX & Happy New Year) I have decided to share with you all a nugget of my wisdom concerning matters of the heart.

-When you're single, there is such a thing as too many lovers. One for every night of 2 weeks should suffice.
-Sex before marriage is perfectly acceptable. Once you're married, you're locked in. May as well find out what you like!
-Baby Blockers are a MUST! Not only for blockin' babies, but for saving you a trip to the free clinic for that nasty green goo you just squeezed out. My advice for all those potential hook-ups: When you look at someone, presume they have the, Herpes.

*A note to all the dudes out there: Sweet sentiments written out in your penmanship are great. Chicks will hold onto that shit forever and every so often (accidentally) find it and be reminded of you, for good or bad. But, they will be thinking of you!

*A note to all the chicks out there: If his hair looks better than yours, he is most likely gay. End of story, princess! It's NEVER going to happen.

So on this day of hearts and snuggles, smooches and chocolate, let us remember the immortal words of Stephen Stills: "If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with."

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